Thursday, July 17, 2008

Unabridged Status and Mood (you know...a la My Space style - sorry about that)

It's been a bit since I checked in with peeps (blogged just on me). I promise to deliver something more interesting in the next couple of days; just a bit overwhelmed lately.

In general, all is well. I'm a bit loneseome for some of my friends but count my blessings for the ones I see daily.

I'm completely dreading my fall dance performance, and I'm tired of the practices (I know right? This is me; I love to dance, but I'm sick of them.) My shoulder and right leg are both still killing me, but oh well...a girl's gotta get her cardio in.

Started reading the effing MO drivers' manual last night; it's riveting. I can't believe that for a second I thought I'd rather be reading one of my new books that I haven't gotten to yet (Economics in One Lesson and In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto). It's whatever though as it's been agreed that I will in fact be getting a MINI Coop.

Looking forward to next weekend's float trip and playtime with the Tri Damn boys and crew; they deliver fun every time.

I have the sweetest pup in the world now. He is also the most adorable, and I don't mind walking him as I truly love to be outside sometimes, inhaling the fresh air, looking at trees and earth, feeling a little wind in my face.


With the wind in my face
I remember who I am
for a moment
and all thoughts for self
for tomorrow
for yesterday
for
today
are blown and scattered
dispersed like leaves
in a thousand
directions
all at once
disappearing behind who
I believe myself to be
while keeping my eyes
closed against what may
never come-if
I remember

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Oh! Where is the humanity?


Recently two different articles caused me to do some additional thinking on moral obligations and what it is that makes us human, the commonalities that are specific to us and that are not discernible in other living creatures. I’ve been waiting to post on them because I thought I would put a little something together on morality/moral good to accompany what I have written on the articles, but I certainly can not pretend to be an expert on what morality/moral good is so instead I give you the causes for my recent pondering with a bit o’ my venting thrown in with them.

First, I read that The Bibliotheque de France is opening a controversial exhibit next year that will focus on the ethics of photography. One prominent piece will be that of Kevin Carter. Many people are familiar with the work, especially if you've had any exposure to photojournalism; in fact, it is one of the things that prompted my gradual drift away from MU’s J school when I started classes there 10 years ago. The photo was still fairly new at the time and caused quite a hubbub. It was certainly a topic for discussion in more than one of my classrooms. The piece I am referring to, as you can see, is of a vulture awaiting the death of a small Sudanese girl. Carter took the photo. He won a Pulitzer Prize for it.

When the J school kids and instructor were overwhelmingly in support of getting the photo, and the minds of my Religious Studies Contemporary Issues classmates were far more concerned and invested in looking at the (pardon the pun) bigger picture, it just made me reevaluate my life priorities. While it wasn’t the only motivating factor, and I am by no means stating there is an definitive difference in morality between the persons in each discipline, it certainly contributed to my thought processes in making choices for the next semester: I increased the number of RS courses I was taking and chose to cease enrollment in the J school; I just wasn’t home there.

Ugh, I digress on too much me…anyway, there's no questioning that it is a moving photograph; it's disturbing and shocking, but I think that there is no way that I could have taken it. I think that I can say with confidence that I would want to pick that baby up and carry her away, somewhere safe. I say “think” because having never been in that situation I do not know and to say with 100% certainty that I know what my reaction would be seems a bit like me judging. Sometimes it’s difficult to not pass judgment, and sometimes we fail; there’s a common factor between humans and animals – neither are perfect. That said I am trying not to judge Carter or other photojournalists negatively; it's just not for me, and maybe to some of you that is me judging (oh well – my apologies). Carter actually committed suicide about 3 months later, leaving a note to explain that he was haunted by killings, corpses, anger, pain.

While the loss of Carter’s life is sad, I have to say that I find some solace in that his note seemed to demonstrate remorse and that he wasn’t just idly moving through life, oblivious to the tragedies affecting other people. And really, I get that maybe his role as a war photographer was his way of helping, that there is something good that comes of this type of work. Much like the disturbing image of the napalm-burned little girl during the Vietnam War, this photograph is certainly attributed to have played an integral role in awakening people to the extreme crises occurring in the Sudan. It just saddens me that such an awakening is even necessary.

I think that War truly puts us at our lowest level of humanity and am reminded of a Bertrand Russell quote that I also recently came across, “War does not determine who is right. War determines who is left.” While this photographic reminder of the extremely grievous realities that are war, hunger, pain left me feeling melancholy and disappointed it did not compare to the reaction the next article elicited from me.

Last week, I’m reading the news and am more than disgusted by the actions, or lack thereof, surrounding the June 19th death of an ER patient in a New York mental hospital. Admittedly, because I find it horrific that her undignified death was made viewable to all public, I have not watched the surveillance clip so please accept my apologies for any errors in retelling the story as it is based solely on the news articles I have read. The patient was involuntarily brought in to the mental facility’s ER for treatment, thus rendering them responsible for her care. After nearly 24 hours of waiting in the ER waiting room she fell out of her chair, from what sounds like a seizure. Both staff and other patients/non-staff occupants of the space witnessed her fall and convulse, including one security guard that wheeled his chair over for a peek and then wheeled back to his post. She was on the floor for approximately an hour before a non-staff member eventually flagged down a person in a lab coat to assist. Additionally, it appears the staff attempted to falsify her records to make it appear as though she had not been on the floor for an hour. If you’re not familiar with the story and would like the actual news vs. my synopsis it is available
here.

That clinical and clerical hospital staff, security as well as other patients and attendants in the ER, just ignored this woman in her final moments of life sickens, saddens and angers me. What is wrong with people? I have yet to come across her actual cause of death, but I’m betting had she been acknowledged, there is a possibility that she would have survived. We’re all quick to prosecute the serial killer or even the admitted accomplice, but are these people not also guilty of a horrendous crime? This is an assortment of people from various walks of life, all treating this woman with total disregard.


We like to think that in general, as human, we are superior to other animals, in part, because we have discernible morals. Where is the morality in this situation? Truly are these people any better than the vulture preying on the tiny Sudanese girl? I think this incident disturbed me so much simply because I had the prior article and photograph to think about while reading it. The former made me think: surely the average person, if put into a situation where another person was suffering, would help that person. Right? Then I read the news of this woman, and I have to think: well, maybe not. Ugh, I am disappointed.

I read some online comments from other readers of this article that stated the other people had no obligation to help this woman. They made their remarks for various reasons: some saying that since it was a mental facility it was probably common to see someone pretend to fall as acting out, some saying that the non-medical staff shouldn’t have to be concerned, and so on. While I said that I wasn’t going to go into moral good and what I think or have learned on the topic I will say this: it is definitely something that I will be thinking on more, and I hope all of you will do the same. I’m not trying to proselytize or anything, as although I teeter, I am lacking full ascription to any belief system; I just think it would be lovely to chat on with some other peeps. For instance, I’m pretty sure that the great Dostoevsky would’ve have said that the people from the ER as well as the commentators I just referenced could all quite possibly be lacking the presentation of moral good because they are living without acknowledgement of blame, refusing to take responsibility for their actions or inactions. Yeah, someone read Notes From Underground so we can have playtime on it (see? I’m sweet ‘cause I picked a short one to start).

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Shifting gears


I thought you all might appreciate something I stumbled on:

I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they’re right. You believe lies so that you learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. – Marilyn Monroe

Miss. Monroe, you took the words right out of my mouth. Never really thought you such a sage, but alas, I couldn’t have put it any better myself so I thank you for articulating what my heart and mind have been trying to say.

Friends, I am thinking about learning to drive. I don’t really want to per se, but it will be good for me. Plus, I think that I’ve convinced Todd Smith that I really need a Mini Coop in my life.

Really can you picture me driving anything else? …well, other than something completely thugged out; I mean Elizabeth and I did think I might be good with an Escalade or an old-school caddy with a bumpin’ sound system (smiles). Which reminds me, Elizabeth is also thinking about driving. She’s growing up, looking at an apartment for herself on Thursday. Her maturing makes me sad but proud, and I suppose we can go get our permits together.

Expect a future blog to regale you with the horrifying details of my first time behind the wheel…hey, it can’t be any worse than me force-feeding you my religiopoliphilosocial thoughts on any given day.


Monday, June 30, 2008

Growing concern

At the hospital we are constantly battling the difficult task of serving the bariatric patient population. This morning as I processed invoices and drew up reqs on new in-ceiling lift systems I just got to thinking about obesity as a problem in the U.S., not just mid-Missouri so I ran a quick news search. Turns out that we aren’t the only country facing this issue.

Here are just a few of the articles that immediately came up on a very simple search. Check out those New Zealanders pulling a MO Medicaid bit. I have sincere sympathy for much of the obese population, but honestly, I think it’s crazy when state-funded insurance pays for gastric bypass but not appropriate care for a quadriplegic. (Trust me when I say you don't want me to get started on a healthcare tangent again so let's move on.)

The Obesity Battle Goes On from the Post

Exercise doesn’t prevent childhood obesity from the UK

Exercise Plan for pre-schoolers aimed to prevent childhood obesity from Sri Lanka

Hundreds to get tax-payer funded stomach stapling from New Zealand

Anyway, this bit and thinking about Huckabee as a real contender for the VP slot on McCain’s ticket prompted me to give those of you non MySpace readers a look at an old blog. Here’s your encore presentation from a March 12, 2008 post:


Do you Heart Huckabee today?
Posted on My Space 3-12-08

If you do Heart Huckabee or if you’re just interested in listening to him he will be delivering the following lecture: "Ethics Surrounding the Future of Medical & Health Care" Thursday, March 13th, 7:30p.m. at Columbia College.

Per the event organizer, Huckabee was asked to present this year’s Schiffman Ethics in Soociety lecture prior to ever announcing a bid for presidential candidancy. Additionally, it is noted that the primary reasons for asking him to speak were "his personal experience with weight loss and his national recognition as a leader on health care, education and energy issues."

I’ve read that the lecture focuses on whether or not it is a moral issue to keep yourself healthy. I could guess what Huckabee is going to say; I could skip step interval and cardio strip tease to actually hear what he has to say (yeah, I know who am I trying to kid with that one?); instead, I’m going to share my once again very scattered and incomplete thoughts (it’s late people.)

Yes, I think we have a moral obligation to insure our individual health, and I warn you I am admittedly gearing up for some pontification. It will be short though I’m sleepy and discombobulated about various things (hence the need for a little blog distraction even if it is just adding to my discombobulation on some level.)

Honestly, I’m not certain that there is any individual factor that more greatly impacts our overall health (physical, emotional, mental and dare I say even spiritual) than the food and other miscellaneous products that we put into our bodies. Not only do poor dietary choices lead to some of the major causes of death: heart disease, high blood pressure and the all-encompassing diabetes that leads to everything else under the sun (trust me I work in a hospital, and I think if diabetes did not exist the building would be half its size), but they mentally and emotionally fatigue us as well. People that like to "comfort eat" are really just doubling the size of their problems both literally and figuratively, as those extra fatty calories are going to result in weight gain, which results in lower quality overall health.

So let’s think about it this way (assuming that all people want to live): People require sustenance to live. Not all sustenance promotes living. People require sustenance that promotes life.
That said, before I really start to preach on nutrition I want to stop just because I should before I drive myself and you crazy and also to make it clear that I am not claiming to be perfect. It’s obvious that I have my unhealthy vices, but I try to make the most nutritionally conscience choices the majority of the time, not just to counteract the times when I allow myself the indulgences, but to actually feel healthy in every way possible. I feel physically ill and emotionally unsound after I consume high fat or processed foods (hydrogenated oil is practically plastic.) Anyway, I digress…

While I believe in helping other people, I am also sincerely committed to individual responsibility. Perhaps if there was a greater emphasis on the individual insuring his or her own health through sound nutrition and lifestyle choices and other preventative care, we would not be in the healthcare crisis that we are today. We owe it to ourselves and each other to be healthy. Our country is a population ridden with healthcare woes, and the system in place to address those woes is a mess thanks to many factors, including our government’s role to help protect the big money corporations that masquerade as insurers of our health, and that is what I believe I will be blogging about tomorrow or the day after (we’ll see what my schedule is like as it’s not every night that I feel like blogging at 1:00a.m.)

So, I’ll be having spinach tomorrow as usual :)

Friday, June 27, 2008

(Sigh²) Here I succumb

A couple of my "friends" completely blow. Letting go of the anger and sadness today though. Dancing it out to a little Ben Kweller and The Strokes and turning my face toward the sunshine. Pensive and wishing I was at home.

Here, I am forced to suppress the desire to violently undress you.

Here, I envision myself impressed by your hands, larger than mine.

Here, I close my eyes and calculate the distance, tip to tip, from index finger to thumb, nearly encircling at the smallest point of my waist.

Here, I am exponentially aware of my thighs tensed as I visually outline the perfect lines and musculature of your abdomen.

Here, I envision my ankles interlocked low, at your sacrum...

Here, I am forced to suppress the desire to violently undress you.

Back to work.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Veeping up the mess

Nah, I'm not talking German on house chores, but I am a little late weighing in on the potential VP candidates for this election. So I started this about two and a half weeks ago and just never got around to finishing it, and I don't think that I ever will (lots of work at home and in the office as well as lots of dance practice hours in addition to regular Studio time.) Additionally, let it be noted that I am full-on admitting to being a news and politics slacker since then as I seriously am just so stinking overwhelmed with all else and so disappointed with the prez candidates that I'm a bit apathetic towards it all. That said, I ask that you take into consideration my thoughts are presumably outdated; I'll try to catch up this weekend.

Obama picks? Clark, Biden, Webb
McCain picks? Huckabee, (dare I say) Romney, Pawlenty

Okay, these peeps are not necessarily who I think the boys will choose to veep it up, but they are folks that I think could offer something to their respective tickets.

Clark is smooth, a retired general, a Rhodes scholar with education in Politics, Philosophy & Economics and respect from many for his military service, thus deflecting a bit of the sure-to-come anti-military nonsense that McCain will be hurling at Obama. Additionally he was a huge supporter of Clinton so there's potential for Obama to win some Clinton fans over with Clark. It doesn't hurt that he's a white man since Obama could use a little help in the white male demo.

Personally, I rather liked Biden when he initially threw his hat into the presidential ring, but just like the other two dems I preferred (Gravel and Kucinich) he didn't have a chance. For Obama though he could fill the foreign policy void. Not only does he have the chairmanship of the Senate for Foreign Relations Committee, but he has often been rather outspoken with regard to achieving political reconciliation in Iraq via decentralizing power among the country's warring factions. When it comes to foreign policy, where dems are concerned, Biden is it; the guy knows his stuff. Again, he should be able to help with the white male demo, specifically those ol' Irish-American roots should facilitate a good rapport with the white working class. I haven't heard a lot of buzz on Biden aside from one of my friends mentioning him. I think perhaps, Obama thinks he is lacking the articulation factor, but it's his ability to interact with the working class that makes him appealing. His special little add-in: he teaches a regular seminar on constitutional law (I know a couple of people up for the big title that could maybe use some help in this area.)

Like Clark, Webb would offer some military cred to the ticket. Obama has said that Washington is the problem so Webb's young service in Congress compliments this stance. Again, he too, would help with white voters, specifically rural voters, and would offer the opportunity for Virginia to actually come into play. Of course, because of the Virginia thing I don't think he's a very likely choice as the dems don't want to risk their chance to have two dem Senate seats in VA.

I also have to just make a quick mention of Brian Schweitzer. Although lacking the physical charm of Clark he too, is smooth, a bit of a cowboy that tells it like it is. He spent several years in Saudi Arabia as well as other countries overseas which gives him some credibility on international affairs. He has quite a bit of experience and respect for his work on energy issues.

I know there are some people out there that just won't let the Hillary thing go, but I just don't think for one second that he would pick her, and if he did, he'd be an idiot (I'm not going to waste my time or your's going into detail here.) I know there are also some people that think he should just pick any woman, and that then he would get all of the Hillary supporters behind him. Several people are talking Sebelius. Some have even mentioned MO's own McCaskill. Neither of these is happening either. If anyone is going to sway the female vote by picking a female running mate, it's McCain, and I don't think he'll do it either.

Let's see though…on Huckabee, I don't particularly <3 Huckabee, but the guy is a good speaker. He would definitely make the evangelical population happy, but he would likely disappoint the conservatives rooted in economic and foreign policy. Just like I think Webb will help Obama in VA I think Huckabee would help McCain there as well as in NC and OH.

Romney, again, although his Mormonism is not popular with conservative evangelicals he is still seen as a representative of Christianity so that will help a bit (at least if trying to sway some dems or fence-riders away that are afeared of Obama's satanic Muslim beliefs [rolls eyes].) He has a record of economic crisis management (hey are we in one of those?) He too, has the ability to do well in OH as well as FL and a ton o' those western states (minus Cali.)

Mr. Pawlenty is perhaps McCain's Quayle (yuck), but the good there is that he's young, with an attractive enough family. With the jokes about McCain's age overflowing, a young hockey-playing veep would offer some balance against the young Barack. He's been a big McCain supporter from the get-go, but with strict conservatives that already worry about McCain, I think a Pawlenty choice has the potential to cause further concern as he is often viewed as a bit left-leaning as far Republicans go. He is majorly anti-abortion though and has a following in the blue-collar crowd.

I've heard some mention of McCain being bold enough to pick his dem buddy Lieberman to attempt to procure some dem votes. I really don't think he'd do this. If he did, I don't think he'd see a real reward on the dem side, and he sure as hell would piss the conservatives off with that one. Will he pick a woman? I doubt it but have heard mention of Sarah Palin. She is a major church-going pro-lifer and member of the NRA, but I just don't see it happening. Lastly, I sorta see Portman's name next to McCain's, although he may not be a "big" enough name. In fact, it's his low-level of name recognition that kept him out of my top three list because honestly I think as far as economics go he has more to offer than Romney. He also has the potential to help out in OH and FL. He has worked at the economic, diplomatic, legislative and executive levels. He's younger without being a green newbie in the politics game.

Regardless of whom either gentleman picks to share their respective campaign sign space, I very much agree with something my friend recently wrote

(Veepstakes) and that is that for once the VP candidates are going to really matter. I don't think that I'm the only person out there that's disappointed in our lackluster presidential candidates, and let's face it a VP is only one breath, one heartbeat away from being the next president. I think that we need to care about these candidates as well. Additionally, it's often the case that a VP runs for presidential office down the road. These people have the potential to represent their parties over the course of two decades. Let's hope the boys find a way to balance selection not just by who will help them get elected but also by who will help them successfully govern.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

(Sigh) Sometimes

Sometimes
when you are not here
and when I confuse
the cadence of your steps
with my breathing;
when so softly
your hands climb
on the sunny side
of my shoulders' hills
and I try
to meet them
in the stillness
of your non-presence;
when soaring
with the creeping silence
hangs
the echo of your voice -
then I am more than clear
it does not matter
where you are.

I had such a lovely time on the trail yesterday; it's just gorgeous outside.

Also been ruminating on some Rumi. Here's one of my favorites: "
Out beyond the ideas of right thinking or wrong thinking is a field. I'll meet you there."
--Rumi