All sorts of growing up

December 14, 2008
Wow, it has been exactly one month since I blogged. I can not believe that I have been such a slacker about it, but honestly, I've just had a lot going on. My heart, my mind, my days...they're all busy, but in an effort to recenter I pulled two old journals down off the bookshelf tonight and decided to share some "poems" circa 1997. *smiles* I had forgotten how brooding I could be as well as how full of whimsy I was at times. Really, reading 16 and 17 year-old Karen got me thinking about the growing up that I'm still doing at 28.

Tomorrow marks the one week anniversary of finally getting my driver's license. I have to say, it's kinda nice being able to get myself places, but I still definitely like to be chauffered. While lots of people liked to taunt me about not driving, saying I needed to join the grown ups, it's not the actual license part that makes me feel like I did some growing; it's the deciding it's okay to not do everything perfectly and to let people see me make a mistake here and there. Todd Smith was a fairly patient teacher, and I am thankful it was him that I learned from. After 11 years, there is a best friend kinda comfort that you can't get with anyone else. We all know that I am a spoiled brat that can not stand to be anything but "right", and the boy was tolerant of my nonsense.

Anyway, tomorrow...it is also the day that I teach my very first yoga class. Obviously, I am an attention whore and like for people to take notice of me (positively, of course), but I am kind of nervous to be in front of people in that sort of venue. I'm told it's an audition, and to me auditions = a little scary (back to that only wanting to do things in front of people if success is guaranteed).

Not only do I love the practice of yoga, but instructing is another step in growing up for me. In general, I like where I am am but I need to put myself out there a bit more so that I can move on to bigger and better things. The fear of putting me out "there" isn't what kept me from finishing school though; however, I think it certainly certainly factors into what keeps me from going back. Things are both different and the same for me as they were 7 years ago when I stopped, and that is a falsely dichotomous life revelation that I just don't want to address.

-------------------------------------------------------
January 6, 2009

Goodness! It has been a while since I've written anything, but I heard a little cinematic dialogue that reminded me of something I was thinking when I left this one to nearly die on the drafting clipboard. I was watching a movie with my highly cherished nieces, and one of the main characters referenced something about how people were always talking about her artistic, musical potential as a child because they were impressed with her abilities at the time; however, when people talk about her present-day "potential" it seems lost because she is playing the same piece now as she was then.

I immediately empathized with the character. My writing seems dreadfully vapid now. My toes just barely test the waters of writing anymore, and I seem to have been reduced to a good copy editor (skills for which I don't technically get paid). I also see now that perhaps writing wasn't the path for me anyway.

I truly am smitten with the fitness world, and in particular, I am in love with the practice of yoga. That first class went well, and I am going back this weekend to teach again. Additionally, I was asked to take part in an extra-curricular program for 1st-5th graders this Spring in which they select after-school electives. Some of the little Girl Scouts I put in volunteer yoga time with asked for my class to be an option. I am honored and excited to share yoga with the little peeps.

These new ventures, along with both the acquisition of some amazing new friends as well as the remarkable endurance of existing friendships, are an invigorating start to 2009 that will hopefully bring me out of the darkness I fell into in 2008. I am eager to move forward, to forget about the things that I can not change, to dream of bigger, better things and to achieve them, to sincerely find and to know the joy that exists in me independent from all else.

So yeah..., just for fun here are a couple of high school Karen writings (both a bit o' the brooding and a bit o' that whimsy):

This is from the 1996 book:

Who will keep the human beat when we have all this money for bombs yet not enough to keep homeless off the street, while children live in boxes of their own discontent I want to be a cat, a dog, a mouse - then, maybe the world wouldn't be So insignificant.

This is from the 1997 book:

Staring at the back of a head my mind beings to draw a blank Turn the corner, and pass right by trudge on home and finally drawn to sleep So hard to resist the lure and bait of my dreams when lying on a pile of pillows beneath a weight of days that tend to drain Dream along the thoughts that rise while sleeping and fly perhaps for a time.

Sorry, this particular journal was almost completely lacking in the light and whimsical genre. Someday I might see what I can find in the garage. There is one that I wrote for our little "underground" newspaper that was all about growing up and would have been extremely a propos for this post, but alas I could not find it. Just be grateful you didn't get relationship-driven stuff from that time *rolls eyes*.

Upon, looking back at this one, I should have titled it "Dear Diary"...oh well.

I am wishing everyone the most beautiful day, night, week, month, year, etc.

Barackalypse vs. Bushwhacked: half a dozen of one, 6 of the other…

I am soooo tired of the anti-Obama “jokes”; it’s over people so I think you should get over it, but if you insist then I too, am having a bit of a rant.

I don't believe that "But Bush did it too!" is a valid defense of anything. I do, however, believe that it's a perfectly valid response to people whose perception of reality is completely skewed.

Look, I get that you don't like taxes. Personally, I’m not a huge fan of them either; I think they’re too high, but I also think spending is too high. I understand that you oppose many of Obama's proposals. I don’t agree with everything the guy says either so I can empathize to a certain extent; however, I am baffled that you could go through the past 8 years completely care-free, not the least bit worried about the exorbitant deficit spending and obscene expansion of state power going on until now. I suppose that contrary to what I said in my last blog, color does matter. There are some people that only seem to care if there’s a boot squashing a face if it comes in blue instead of red.

So yes, Bush cut your taxes. He did, however, raise the taxes that your children (someone’s children) will pay. In general people claim to care about children, and I’d go so far as to say that given the pro-life stance of the people I am referring to (not that I think there’s anything wrong with that) I’d think you should care about children a lot. Surely you must oppose any policy that basically guarantees that your kids will pay massive taxes to some Chinese creditors, yes?

A tiny recap on the things you either missed while blinking or that simply didn’t faze you enough to even solicit a blink. The Bush administration:

- Borrowed an obscene amount of money to start a war that will bite us and future generations in the ass. (Please note that I retain the utmost respect for members of the armed forces and am grateful for their service).
- Borrowed vast sums for insane domestic security policies.
- Openly instituted a policy of torture, detention without trial and warrantless surveillance.
- Consolidated federal power over public schools.
- Instituted a massive and expensive program of free pills for the elderly.
- Borrowed another ridiculous sum to bail out Wall Street.
- Acquired equity stakes in various banks, basically nationalizing a key industry, the sort of thing that would cause you to pack your bags and move to Argentina if Obama did it.

None of that scared you in the least. You even voted repeatedly for the party doing these things.

You're only scared NOW? Really? Does anyone else recall the Chicken Littleing of Newt Gingrinch in the early 90s? His nonsense is one of the first things I can really remember from the contemporary political sector (admittedly, it was his name that drew my attention). The man said there would be soup kitchen lines, and then we had the longest peacetime economic expansion in our history.

Yes, I am hopeful for a better future, but I am also a bit cynical on it all so that should give you haters hope. I'm predicting that many of Obama's proposals will come to naught, and we'll basically get the status quo that didn't cause you to so much as bat an eyelash anyway.

Oh, except that the bill for this status quo might be paid by you instead of by future voters. The change I wanted never came to fruition either; that’s life.

*sigh* I feel better now. I was just getting so irritated that I had to rant a bit.

Idiocracy: Cinematic suggestion for all, especially the boy w/the AuH20esque profile name

So Saturday night I sat next to a pregnant girl drinking Mountain Dew like it was about to be discontinued but could grant an easier labor and delivery if she sucked down enough it before it was gone. She was so busy spewing forth racist "jokes" and completely asinine "political" commentary I am surprised she was able to get three big glasses down; nevertheless she did. Wait...did I just judge her based on her beverage consumption? Oh, not really; it's just that it's a little difficult for me not to question your intelligence if you are sucking down Mountain Dew well into your pregnancy while you make insulting remarks toward a specific race or the future president...sorry.

Anyone that knows me even a little bit can tell you that I have zero tolerance for derogatory remarks with regard to a person's race, ethnicity, cultural practices, sexual-orientation, religion, class, etc. I am not going to travel off on some long tangent to that effect as I already did that once here. I am not going to claim that I am superior and free of any presuppositions of people, but I like to think that I try to separate myself from them as much as possible. Admittedly, the first thing that came to mind as I listened to this girl blathering racist nonsense was, "Fantastic; she is reproducing...the future of America is going to look like that." I know it's terrible to think that way, and I hope that it doesn't happen.

Unlike Dew's claims that most black people are the same (her ideas: lazy and jobless), I am going to believe that not all people of whatever her classification is are destined to be the same. While I think it's extremely difficult for a child spoon-fed racism that is chased down with Kool-Aid (insert other sugary beverage...Mountain Dew?) to come out of the household unscathed, free from those bigot-ridden thought processes, I don't think it's impossible. I have hope in the school systems, in the other adults that racist's baby will encounter, in the majority of our society that the child will grow up to be a more loving and accepting individual than his/her parent(s).

Anyway, the whole thing reminded me of a movie that was fairly entertaining so I offer you a clip mash-up here and suggest checking it out. I didn't mention it at the time because I was trying to be nice and not imply that Dew was an idiot directly to her face. I am sure that aside from the racism and bigotry that she is a lovely person and an otherwise good mama.

I don't expect rainbows and unicorns and 100% peace and love in the world, but I do expect people with any sort of education to know that you can not assume things based solely on a person's race, ethnicity, blah, blah, blah.

Anyway, it is time for me to get to work. Here's hoping for a smarter tomorrow, not one reminiscent of a scene from Idiocracy.

Ouch

Inhale: the pain can be no worse;
I sink into nothing but spirit.
I breathe the pain inside out,
the colors subside into gray.

Exhale: the pain will be worse still-there's no scale
of one to ten or one million-

Blah, blah, blah...I'm just sayin'. Decent day w/my boys and awesome Old 97s concert tonight but still hurting :-(

Hare I go, hare I go, hare I go again...

Sorry, you’ll see what prompted it in a second (you know beside my obvious love for Salt-N-Peppa since my Blacks’ Magic cassette circa ‘93).

It’s Columbus Day, an almost over Columbus Day, but I am just now getting around to posting. I thought maybe I’d get all tangential about the number of government employees that were comfortably lounging today while I sat utterly annoyed in my office and read more about our (insert sarcasm now) flourishing economy – how ‘bout that Dow today? – I know I’m convinced that all is well now! Then I thought: why bother? Why begrudge them their paid holiday? Am I not elated when Labor Day and Memorial Day roll round?

Instead I starting thinking about how when you’re in grade school you’re force-fed some historical nonsense as to why you will have Monday off just prior to being reminded that you should use that time wisely to work on whatever your big project is for the semester. With Columbus Day, in particular (yes, my Catholic grade school was closed), I can recall a cheesy Bugs Bunny cartoon (that I probably saw 10+ times thanks to my paternal grandfather’s love of Bugs) helping to form some of my ideas on Christopher Columbus’ historic role. Of course, the older I got, the less credence I gave to cartoons as historic references (wink), but just for the sake of discussion I think it’s a bit crazy that I ever allowed it into my psyche at all. That’s what we do though right? Form a popular consciousness with regard to historical events via a pervasive cultural layer that's been added like that of Bugs and Chris?

The cartoon delivers that same ol’ story of Chris attempting rather unsuccessfully to convince potential financiers of his voyage that the world is round, etc. Historians know very well that in addition to a majority of well-traveled sailors, most educated people in early modern Europe were perfectly aware that the world was not flat. If anything, Columbus was kind of deluded, just not about the shape of the world, but its size. He thought it was much smaller than it actually was.

When you ask why people have heard otherwise, you can’t really zero in on any single text or source that is responsible for creating an alternative folk knowledge about Columbus and medieval European knowledge. Even when you can find a source like that housed within a Looney Tunes there’s often so much whimsy or simplicity, something intended for children, that is maybe infused with a sense of reference to common sense knowledge about past events, are we really getting anything historically accurate? It’s not that the cartoon teaches you about Columbus, or even that it purports to; it’s more like it’s human capability at work. Together we strive, whether consciously or sub-consciously to innovate, to accumulate and to diffuse culture. While there is of course, always going to be someone trying to write and teach history to his/her advantage or protection (see Lies My Teacher Told Me for some examples), there are also cases like that of Bugs; there’s no malicious agenda in the cartoon to rewrite history, at least I don’t think.

Crap! I'm not going to do it, but the whole thought processes for tonight have ended me at memetics...ugh, another time perhaps. I am tired and extend my apologies for messy though without any fun or informative hyperlinks; what can I say?...I suck tonight. Only blogging to distract myself from familial drama.

Just coming up for air

I have been a naughty blogger and promise to try to whip something thoughtful up this week. Debate was entertaining, yes? Anyway...

You contained me in your universe,
fed me, educated me, bedded me in slippery

sheets, removed my blankets as I slept.
I needed not to leave you except to star gaze.

You were red, and crushed apples along
a stream frozen save for bursting rocks.

Stealing me away from I, we spoke,
listened, lingered over other.

A pearl is round and smooth and lustrous,
Yet your floors slant and porously grit.

You slam doors and disturb dreams,
enter without knocking, give me no key to lock

Your slide-shows warmed the cold church,
And articulated metaphor, design, and thought.

De Bait! De Bait!

Wow, a few months ago I was completely jaded and had completely lost all interest in this presidential election; my how the tides have turned! First, there were the VP picks; both of which piqued my interest and renewed some faith in the whole process for me. Now, we have the seasoned Senator actually calling to cancel…er, ahem, I mean, postpone the first of three presidential debates (not to mention the canceling of the VP debate altogether, but I’m not even touching that mess). It’s all crazy right?

Well, I don’t know. In my humble opinion, it might just be genius. Really, if McCain can convince the American public that he is genuinely taking an “above politics” approach then he might just reel in a new crop of supporters; I’m just not sure how many Americans are biting on this tactic. I fear for the old man, that many will view it with complete derision. It’s a lovely sentiment and whatnot, but really I think the majority of Americans want a President that is capable of a little multi-tasking.

Anyway, I know I’ve been a negligent blogger, and I have so much more churning on this one as well as the bailout / economic situation disaster that we’re in; however, I’ve just too much to do in too little of time these days. Ugh, okay, I can’t sign off without saying a little more…It’s unlikely that the calamitous state of our economy is going to improve through hurried legislation. This bailout biz is a train wreck for the general public. Actually, perhaps there’s an even more applicable analogy; it’s a band-aid for a situation that needs a far more in-depth treatment plan. I don’t know about the rest of you (I certainly welcome your thoughts on it all), but I don’t trust such an exorbitant amount of money in so few hands.

I implore everyone to be actively involved in your political choices though. Read the news. Watch the debates (when they happen). Etc. With regard to the bailout I urge you to read a little something from the Campaign for Liberty peeps.

On a friendly note, I also wish you all a fantastic weekend!

Hot

She was a golden flame that night,
Red as the fire upon a hearth on a cold night.
All was still when she began to dance,
As the licking flame dances.
Slowly at first she twisted her body, as though hungry,
Just as the growing flames twist and lick outwardly
and hungrily.
Her body was a living pillar of fire
Covered with the flowering glitter of a million sparks,
Turning, twisting, tossing,
As if in agony, and yet, caressing.
From the flaming red you were changed to a
sinister green,
A flame of poison, of treachery and of lust;
A flame one might expect to find
Creeping among the forest giants
to kill them while they slept;
A poison as choking as the gas from which you spring;
And the lust call dripping from every movement of
your lithe body.
And then to the silver flame,
A flame when only the moon is high in the heavens
A sparkling, gleaming flame, reaching upward,
While silver glitterings fall at your feet;
Then suddenly to turn and play with them,
Lightly, laughingly,
Until the shining call of the moon beckons,
And you seek to answer
With all the power of your silvery form.

United We Lick and some other stuff

...gosh! No...perverts!

I was just taking a little break and decided to peruse The Colbert Report's page, whereupon I came across this oldy but goody. Stephen Colbert, I do so HEART you!

You have to watch as he interviews Ben and Jerry, and the commentary that their political views are evident in ice cream names such as "Chunky Monkey" had me laughing out loud...pro-evolution - teehee!

Anyway, my days & nights are super-full lately so my apologies for being an absent blogger or if I've been slow on email responses, etc. Sadly, I don't think it's going to get much better for a while. I start the second job tomorrow at Jack's Gourmet. It's not my favorite place, but it's relatively close to my house, not open too late and has high check averages. I hope that this doesn't result in me disappointing the Twitter crew with a cancellation on Wet Hot American Summer and costume contest. I do enjoy the Twitter peeps, and everyone knows I love to get dressed up :-(

I simply must start that second job as that = mo' money, and mo' money = MINI Cooper sooner for me :-) Oh yeah, yesterday I actually drove a tiny bit on Forum, traffic signals and everything *rolls eyes*. New goal is driving to work in the a.m.'s before October (rush hour on Providence & Stadium...hooray!)

Lastly, I am beyond excited to be enrolling in YogaFit® certification in November. It's just basic but will allow me to instruct if I can find a place - woohoo!

It's going to be a busy autumn, but I am eager to keep progressing with these things. I'll try not to be MIA too often. In between work(s), Studio and driving I am working up little somethings on the electoral college and orthorexia (separate blogs of course) for your leisurely reading enjoyment ;-)

Putting much love and happiness out there. Hope you enjoy(ed) Mr. Colbert and the masterminds of lactose novelties.

Conscious Chaos

I've had a crazy week thus far and am ready for some down time this weekend!

Like a broken compass,
I don't know whether you're pushing me away
or pulling me towards.You seemed so alive then,
so soft and so bright,
yet quiet inside of you.
I never knew how to be
still like that.
I wrote your words on my arms,
never too clean to get a tad dirty.
The words are pungent and broken on my tummy,
but they are alive.
Alive, because sometimes you speak to me this way,
with touches and tattoos,
in whispers and shouts,
eager for your words I tug my hair out,
and I remember that you must have been
broken once, too.
I'm close to okay, though.
Almost fixed,
I've glued me back
with little thanks to you.
There are few cracks in sight
and then just this
seamless whisper
of your hands
on my shoulders
pushing me or pulling me
in every direction
of you.

What's in a name?

Really, I hate to argue with the bard, but would a rose by any other name still smell as sweet? It seems to me that humans are an easily influenced bunch…

Just trying to avoid work so catching up on some reading from a couple of my favorite spots. Right now, it’s Ben Smith. Ben reports on a recent poll by the True Patriot Network which found that more Americans (of the ones polled) find McCain patriotic than do Obama.

I don’t have much time, but I wonder if perhaps the people polled have confused “patriotic” with “jingoist”. While they might often be cross-referenced as synonymous, they really are not. Clearly one of the two is sweeter than the other.

Anyway, just bored, and I am anxiously awaiting the Senator’s VP pic…I’m aware this does not make my life sound very exciting, but I don’t care. For what it's worth, I think he's leaning Romney, but I'm a bit intrigued by Ridge (not to mention a bit sad I missed him in my initial top 3).

Stupid is as stupid does

So, I wasn’t even sure that I was going to share the following little convo and my thoughts, but then as I was perusing the news articles on Yahoo’s homepage yesterday this one prompted me to go ahead and write about it. Upon finishing, I think it’s only fair to hop back up here and offer a little fair warning of wandering and turning a tad tangential…nothing out of the ordinary there ;)

As I’m sitting with someone she says to me, “You know what I’m sick of?”

I presume this is rhetorical, but the pause is actually a tad too long so I say, “Stupid people?” This is usually what I am ‘sick of’ so I assume it’s a decent guess. It’s not that I think I’m a genius per se, quite to the contrary really; however I am confident that a fair number of the people I come into contact with on any given day are intellectually lacking, and that I actually fair well-enough. I recently read somewhere that with regard to national average IQ the U.S. ranks 18th. I suppose that isn’t too terrible, but really given our purported measures toward educational success and higher learning it seems a less-than-impressive ranking.

Anyway, I digress…it turns out that was exactly what she was sick of; however, she was using a rather biased means to identify said “stupid people”. She said (and maybe I shouldn’t be using quotes because this may not be verbatim – close though), “YuhhYES! I am sooo sick of stupid people. These idiots that live near me have a ton of election signs in their yard, but the only reason they have them is because they are the most “Christian” candidates. Ask them about their platforms, and they know nothing. I don’t understand why it is that religious people vote for someone just because they share the same religion? It’s stupid.”

Me, “Ouch, wow! You realize that’s a rather judgmental remark that not only implies that people with a belief system are stupid, but it also implies that it is somehow wrong or stupid for their beliefs to impact the way that they vote?” Her response was something like, “Well, you know I don’t get the belief thing, and honestly it is a bit stupid to let it decide your vote…separation of church and state...”

Me? Well, I just rolled my eyes. “Church and state” – I’ll get back to that. For now let me offer the following reminder: I think that everyone that knows me also knows that I’m not really sure what I believe with regard to an omniscient, omnipotent, omnibenevolent, eternal creator. I can tell you that what I do believe in is the practice of respect for other people’s faith and practices, and that is what I said to her. To discredit someone based on their faith is just as bad as discounting them because of their race or gender. Now people that present as pseudo-religious? The ones that are lacking compassion, good works…the ones that purport a commitment to their faith but really never live it? Those are the people that I find difficulty in acknowledging or respecting their belief system, but I wouldn’t really expect them to vote for anything or anyone simply out of religious allegiance; however the people in possession of a full-on commitment to their faith? Well, that I can respect, and those are the people that I presume will allot for their religious beliefs to have some influence when making their political decisions. To do so isn’t “stupid”.

Faith is about the spiritual, the way we live our lives, treat each other, etc. Politics are about the temporal, taxes, legalities, etc. It is altogether asinine to think that, for a devout religious practitioner, there is no intersection between faith and politics. If religious faith functions as a means to delineate what is right or wrong, to clarify what goodness is how could someone in possession of a truly meaningful communion with God completely divorce Him from his/her voting decisions? The person could not.

Where is that line though? The one she mentioned as separating church and state? Well, don’t you think that when developing our government, the U.S. looked at the troubled history of Europe and her religious wars as a warning? I think that while it was expected that politicians would be religious and religious philosophy would inform their decisions, the Founders’ view was also such that we would be a nation that had faith but one that kept doctrinal disputes out of the political sphere. I don’t know…My knowledge is limited, but it seems people that are almost anti-religion fall back on that “Church and State” thing without really knowing anything about the Founders’ intent for our nation.

So (“so” the fall-back segue of a tired and lazy writer – forgiveness asked), ultimately I think it's far from “stupid” for a person to consider their faith when deciding what policies to favor, provided that when considering policies that are going to apply to everyone, to figure out how to justify those policies to people with different faiths or none. My partner in conversation was fairly adamant that there was not a way to interweave the two and still be within appropriate political “rights” or limits. She was insistent that in allowing one’s faith to impact one’s politics that the person of faith was forcing a personal religious agenda onto others. I had to disagree, and I think that it disappointed her. You see, people both atheists as well as those that have a strong belief system, are often quick to make assumptions about a person such as myself. They assume that because I do not attend a church or profess my commitment to a specific religion that I am simply an atheist; the soul, the heart, the mind, the spiritual, et. Al. is not so simple, and you should never assume unless you are prepared to listen to me drone on and on. I certainly don’t think she was prepared, but I addressed the following anyway (what can I say I get a little indignant when anyone is being attacked?):

If we’re talking about Christianity, the truest message there is one of love, forgiveness, compassion, intended to be spread through witnessing, not force. I like to think of witnessing as different than proselytizing, even more so since reading a book my friend recently loaned me. The authors, in addition, to presenting a thorough, fact-based and quite convincing argument for the resurrection of Christ also address the appropriate means to share His message. Again I can respect the person of faith that attempts to share his/her beliefs in a way that is also respectful of others, one that is free of coercion, force, trickery or disrespect. When shared and acted upon correctly the person of faith is also then still recognizing our free will. And isn’t free will, a preservation of our liberty what we’re really making our political decisions for? Even the believer of an omniscient, omnipotent, omnibenevolent, eternal God should vote contrary to anything that would demolish the freedom of individuals to live under the umbrella of liberty so if they are in keeping with this mindset I don’t see how a little intersection of faith and politics is “stupid” or a problem.

Enjoy the weekend peeps! I intend to :-)

Lexiconic Prurience, I guess…

So those that know me know that I am a complete sucker for neologisms and fancy myself a rather creative lexiconist (yep, think I’ll write my own dictionary of fun words someday). Additionally, I just love words, grammar, language, et. al. Today, I share with you a silly post along those lines. Let’s wordplay.

Orchasm – n. The immeasurable distance between one choice and another.Or, with its grammar of gestation. Or, with its suggestive reservoir of participles of posing; its gerunds of guessing; its infinitives of "to do this" or "to do that." Or, the signature nomenclature of choice and mystery.But is it possible for the divide between "either" and "or" to be exciting? I don't know. Anxiety-producing, yes, but exciting? Probably not. After all, can Sir Climax enter, stage right, without Madame Tension's exit, stage left? [Reverse genders there, if you like.] Anyway, ask Soren Kierkegaard.For orchasm, picture Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken," a paean to the possibilities of choice.

Orgasm: Such a fun…a-hem, word to play with.

orghasm - n. A ghastly but somehow pleasurable sexual experience.

boregasm - n. The peak of sexual pleasure evoked by an utterly boring person.

floorgasmic - adj. Having the qualities of a sexual crescendo that just floors you!

soargasmic – adj. Having the qualities of a sexual crescendo that cause you to feel as though floating or flying.

Catching Kisses: Sometimes life reads like a storybook

So before I get started I’d like to preface this one by saying it doesn’t matter what you or I believe; I mean that’s important, just not in the context of this story. Most of you know that for the most part I post my mood or personal goings-on, my musings on religion, politics, current events, etc. Sometimes it’s a sad commentary on ethics and morality. Sometimes it’s just a repost of something silly for your entertainment. Sometimes it’s just a poetic effort lest I explode. Today though, I’m going to share a chance encounter that I had with a charming 6 year old and his father, not because I want some sort of affirmation that I did a “good” thing, but because I hope it inspires at least one person that reads it to do something nice for someone else, that it makes even just one of you smile, and honestly, I was just so touched that I couldn’t keep it to myself. This, of course, implies that I will able to relay it with justice; I’m aware that sometimes my offerings are mediocre at best, but I think the source for content will out-weigh any literary short-comings. I implore you to read this post in its entirety.

Preface correction: I said it doesn’t matter what I believe for the context of this story…scratch that; there’s something that matters. I believe that everything happens for a reason. Now then, let’s go.

This weekend I took a little trip to the StL simply because I needed to get away and to relax a bit, to see some faces of the people that I rarely see but totally love, to pretend like I don’t have anything to worry about at work or elsewhere in life, to forget about drama with my family and the Studio, to just sit by a pool, read a book and enjoy the sunshine. I did all of that; it was nice, but do you ever have that feeling like your heart has been broken and no matter what you do you can’t quite get all of the pieces to put it back together in its rightful state? Yeah, even after my little respite I was still feeling quite forlorn, but then something amazing happened on my way home, and it changed my outlook.

The whole “not-driving” thing meant that I had to take the MO-X Shuttle to StL and back. You know how I said I believe things happen for a reason? Well, I had some plans change and decided to switch my return transportation time. If I hadn’t changed I would never have met Aric or Mark (the aforementioned 6 year old and his father). I needed to meet them, and I think they needed to meet me. As I stepped onto the shuttle I heard the driver mention that it would be a full trip so I scanned the open seats and weighed my options. There was one single seat open and a couple of empties next to other people, but I looked to the back where I saw the sweetest little face, complete with perfectly chubby cheeks, big blue eyes and curly brown hair. That face also had a pretty adorable pair of dangling legs, lightly kicking the seat. I decided that I definitely had to sit next to this little person. Someone else could sit with the grown-ups. I took my seat and exchanged smiles with this little boy and his papa. I then proceeded to read my book and text a bit with my girl, Nicole.

About an hour into the trip I notice the little boy next to me is crying. I looked at his dad and asked if he was okay. His dad said, “His mom, my wife, passed away about two months ago. We were taking her car to his aunt in St. Louis. He still cries a lot; it’s hard.”

In that moment I almost lost it myself, and then the kiddo spoke up. “She smells like mommy,” he said to his dad. Immediately I looked at his father and said, “Sorry, maybe it’s my body splash.” He replied, “Yeah, I noticed it when you sat down; it’s the same.” Again, things happen for a reason. I almost didn’t put my body splash on; it’s almost gone, and it’s been discontinued. As I was getting ready I wasn’t sure I wanted to waste any of my favorite splash on a ride home. I was feeling kind of blue and ugly that morning though so I went ahead and spritzed as usual. When I heard this little boy say that I smelled like his mommy, just after his dad told me she had passed away, my eyes welled with tears so big I don’t know how I stopped them, but I did and said to him, “Thank you. I think that you thinking I smell like your mommy is the nicest thing that anyone’s ever said to me. I bet she was a beautiful lady that smelled like cherry blossoms all of the time. Do you want to tell me your name?”

He said, “Aric with an ‘A’.” Ah so cute! I knew at this moment that we were going to be friends, and I said, “Well Aric with an ‘A’, I’m Karen with a ‘K’ which is way cooler than Karen with a ‘C’ sorta like Aric with an ‘A’ is way cooler than Aric with an ‘E’. Don’t you think?” He did, and I think he knew too, that we were going to get along. Because I think it’s important to talk to kids in a way that makes them feel respected and appreciated I proceeded to ask him his dad’s name. We chatted for a few moments as I was working up the nerve to ask his dad, Mark’s, permission to tell Aric a story.

You see, for some reason something my mom did when my sister and I were little popped into my head. When we were really young if she had to be apart from us for any extended time (a weekend at our grandparents, with our dad, etc.) she would kiss the palms of our hands and say, “If you get scared or miss me just put your hand to your cheek and know there are kisses for you there.” It’s silly, but it’s lovely and something that I do with my nieces and other little peeps that I love. I looked at Mark and said, “H-E-A-V-E-N, yay or nay?” He gave me the thumbs up so I said to a still teary-eyed Aric, “Can you blow kisses?” Obviously he responded with a yes so I asked him if he could show me by blowing a kiss to his dad. He did, and I, of course, offered much praise for his talent at blowing kisses. He smiled, pleased with himself, and then I said, “Aric, did you know that you can blow kisses to people in heaven too? You just toss them up instead of out.”

Aric looked at me rather quizzically, and then he looked at his dad. Mark nodded agreement. I continued, “It’s actually pretty awesome because they can blow kisses back. You know sometimes when you feel just the softest breeze, the kind that sort of tickles your cheek and just barely moves your hair?”

Aric answered, “Yep.” I said, “Well those are kisses from people in heaven, and they’re just grazing by you so that they can get to the person they’re supposed to go to. Sometimes they never get where they’re going because they catch too many other people on the way, but you know I think that’s okay too because maybe those people need the kisses more.” He leaned back into his seat, swinging those little legs again and was clearly storing this new-found information away. I think he was just old enough to get what I was saying but not so old that the story was implausible for him.

I then taught him how to play yellow car, and we did. I am so good at yellow car that I totally could have won if I wanted to, but I let him win. When we stepped off of the shuttle I held my breath as I knew what was coming. Sure enough, Aric tried it. He blew a kiss right up into the sky, and I kid you not, quite a good breeze hit us just as soon as he dropped his little hand back down. The look on his face is forever ingrained in my memory. His dad gave me the most heartfelt smile, and when Aric asked if we felt it we both said “what?”, knowing that would make it all the more special for him. Mark could have wanted to slap me for filling his son’s head with a story, but he shook my hand and said thank you when they left. Aric hugged me; it was soft and sweet, and he smelled good (you know that little kid smell that reminds of you of playing outside, just enough earth and sweat that you know the little one has played but doesn’t stink).

After they were gone, the elderly lady that had been sitting in front of us, touched my hand and said, “That was beautiful. May God bless all of your days.” It was so kind of her, but I didn’t know what to say in response so I just said, “Thank you! May he do the same for you.” When the cute, little old lady got into the car with her husband I saw her point at me. She’s passing my meeting on so why shouldn’t I?

The whole thing was quite surreal, but as the title said, sometimes life really does play out just like something from a storybook. Those storybook moments, whether delightfully fanciful or wistfully solemn, are often few and far between, but I am so very grateful for this one, any of them really because of the way that they stick with you. While my heart aches for that little boy, his papa, the rest of their family, I welcome what our chance meeting brought to me. It reminded me that no matter what you’re feeling, no matter what’s happening in your life; there is always someone whose sorrow is greater, their pain just that much worse. I’m certainly not an expert at anything, nor am I in a position to make remarks with such omniscient implications, but when have I ever been one to keep my thoughts to myself? So at the risk of delivering something so cliché or grandiose, I’d like to close with saying ultimately, even in the face of suffering, both great and small, even when it just isn’t what we expected or what we want in that moment, life is still something to be grateful for. We should try our best to appreciate every day and to just be good to each other.

Anyway, I respect the beauty that is in you, that is also within me…you know…namasté. Sending out kisses and wishing everyone many beautiful days!

Unabridged Status and Mood (you know...a la My Space style - sorry about that)

It's been a bit since I checked in with peeps (blogged just on me). I promise to deliver something more interesting in the next couple of days; just a bit overwhelmed lately.

In general, all is well. I'm a bit loneseome for some of my friends but count my blessings for the ones I see daily.

I'm completely dreading my fall dance performance, and I'm tired of the practices (I know right? This is me; I love to dance, but I'm sick of them.) My shoulder and right leg are both still killing me, but oh well...a girl's gotta get her cardio in.

Started reading the effing MO drivers' manual last night; it's riveting. I can't believe that for a second I thought I'd rather be reading one of my new books that I haven't gotten to yet (Economics in One Lesson and In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto). It's whatever though as it's been agreed that I will in fact be getting a MINI Coop.

Looking forward to next weekend's float trip and playtime with the Tri Damn boys and crew; they deliver fun every time.

I have the sweetest pup in the world now. He is also the most adorable, and I don't mind walking him as I truly love to be outside sometimes, inhaling the fresh air, looking at trees and earth, feeling a little wind in my face.

With the wind in my face
I remember who I am
for a moment
and all thoughts for self
for tomorrow
for yesterday
for
today
are blown and scattered
dispersed like leaves
in a thousand
directions
all at once
disappearing behind who
I believe myself to be
while keeping my eyes
closed against what may
never come-if
I remember

Oh! Where is the humanity?

Recently two different articles caused me to do some additional thinking on moral obligations and what it is that makes us human, the commonalities that are specific to us and that are not discernible in other living creatures. I’ve been waiting to post on them because I thought I would put a little something together on morality/moral good to accompany what I have written on the articles, but I certainly can not pretend to be an expert on what morality/moral good is so instead I give you the causes for my recent pondering with a bit o’ my venting thrown in with them.

First, I read that The Bibliotheque de France is opening a controversial exhibit next year that will focus on the ethics of photography. One prominent piece will be that of Kevin Carter. Many people are familiar with the work, especially if you've had any exposure to photojournalism; in fact, it is one of the things that prompted my gradual drift away from MU’s J school when I started classes there 10 years ago. The photo was still fairly new at the time and caused quite a hubbub. It was certainly a topic for discussion in more than one of my classrooms. The piece I am referring to, as you can see, is of a vulture awaiting the death of a small Sudanese girl. Carter took the photo. He won a Pulitzer Prize for it.

When the J school kids and instructor were overwhelmingly in support of getting the photo, and the minds of my Religious Studies Contemporary Issues classmates were far more concerned and invested in looking at the (pardon the pun) bigger picture, it just made me reevaluate my life priorities. While it wasn’t the only motivating factor, and I am by no means stating there is an definitive difference in morality between the persons in each discipline, it certainly contributed to my thought processes in making choices for the next semester: I increased the number of RS courses I was taking and chose to cease enrollment in the J school; I just wasn’t home there.

Ugh, I digress on too much me…anyway, there's no questioning that it is a moving photograph; it's disturbing and shocking, but I think that there is no way that I could have taken it. I think that I can say with confidence that I would want to pick that baby up and carry her away, somewhere safe. I say “think” because having never been in that situation I do not know and to say with 100% certainty that I know what my reaction would be seems a bit like me judging. Sometimes it’s difficult to not pass judgment, and sometimes we fail; there’s a common factor between humans and animals – neither are perfect. That said I am trying not to judge Carter or other photojournalists negatively; it's just not for me, and maybe to some of you that is me judging (oh well – my apologies). Carter actually committed suicide about 3 months later, leaving a note to explain that he was haunted by killings, corpses, anger, pain.

While the loss of Carter’s life is sad, I have to say that I find some solace in that his note seemed to demonstrate remorse and that he wasn’t just idly moving through life, oblivious to the tragedies affecting other people. And really, I get that maybe his role as a war photographer was his way of helping, that there is something good that comes of this type of work. Much like the disturbing image of the napalm-burned little girl during the Vietnam War, this photograph is certainly attributed to have played an integral role in awakening people to the extreme crises occurring in the Sudan. It just saddens me that such an awakening is even necessary.

I think that War truly puts us at our lowest level of humanity and am reminded of a Bertrand Russell quote that I also recently came across, “War does not determine who is right. War determines who is left.” While this photographic reminder of the extremely grievous realities that are war, hunger, pain left me feeling melancholy and disappointed it did not compare to the reaction the next article elicited from me.

Last week, I’m reading the news and am more than disgusted by the actions, or lack thereof, surrounding the June 19th death of an ER patient in a New York mental hospital. Admittedly, because I find it horrific that her undignified death was made viewable to all public, I have not watched the surveillance clip so please accept my apologies for any errors in retelling the story as it is based solely on the news articles I have read. The patient was involuntarily brought in to the mental facility’s ER for treatment, thus rendering them responsible for her care. After nearly 24 hours of waiting in the ER waiting room she fell out of her chair, from what sounds like a seizure. Both staff and other patients/non-staff occupants of the space witnessed her fall and convulse, including one security guard that wheeled his chair over for a peek and then wheeled back to his post. She was on the floor for approximately an hour before a non-staff member eventually flagged down a person in a lab coat to assist. Additionally, it appears the staff attempted to falsify her records to make it appear as though she had not been on the floor for an hour. If you’re not familiar with the story and would like the actual news vs. my synopsis it is available here.

That clinical and clerical hospital staff, security as well as other patients and attendants in the ER, just ignored this woman in her final moments of life sickens, saddens and angers me. What is wrong with people? I have yet to come across her actual cause of death, but I’m betting had she been acknowledged, there is a possibility that she would have survived. We’re all quick to prosecute the serial killer or even the admitted accomplice, but are these people not also guilty of a horrendous crime? This is an assortment of people from various walks of life, all treating this woman with total disregard.

We like to think that in general, as human, we are superior to other animals, in part, because we have discernible morals. Where is the morality in this situation? Truly are these people any better than the vulture preying on the tiny Sudanese girl? I think this incident disturbed me so much simply because I had the prior article and photograph to think about while reading it. The former made me think: surely the average person, if put into a situation where another person was suffering, would help that person. Right? Then I read the news of this woman, and I have to think: well, maybe not. Ugh, I am disappointed.

I read some online comments from other readers of this article that stated the other people had no obligation to help this woman. They made their remarks for various reasons: some saying that since it was a mental facility it was probably common to see someone pretend to fall as acting out, some saying that the non-medical staff shouldn’t have to be concerned, and so on. While I said that I wasn’t going to go into moral good and what I think or have learned on the topic I will say this: it is definitely something that I will be thinking on more, and I hope all of you will do the same. I’m not trying to proselytize or anything, as although I teeter, I am lacking full ascription to any belief system; I just think it would be lovely to chat on with some other peeps. For instance, I’m pretty sure that the great Dostoevsky would’ve have said that the people from the ER as well as the commentators I just referenced could all quite possibly be lacking the presentation of moral good because they are living without acknowledgement of blame, refusing to take responsibility for their actions or inactions. Yeah, someone read Notes From Underground so we can have playtime on it (see? I’m sweet ‘cause I picked a short one to start).

Shifting gears

I thought you all might appreciate something I stumbled on:

I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they’re right. You believe lies so that you learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. – Marilyn Monroe

Miss. Monroe, you took the words right out of my mouth. Never really thought you such a sage, but alas, I couldn’t have put it any better myself so I thank you for articulating what my heart and mind have been trying to say.

Friends, I am thinking about learning to drive. I don’t really want to per se, but it will be good for me. Plus, I think that I’ve convinced Todd Smith that I really need a Mini Coop in my life.

Really can you picture me driving anything else? …well, other than something completely thugged out; I mean Elizabeth and I did think I might be good with an Escalade or an old-school caddy with a bumpin’ sound system (smiles). Which reminds me, Elizabeth is also thinking about driving. She’s growing up, looking at an apartment for herself on Thursday. Her maturing makes me sad but proud, and I suppose we can go get our permits together.

Expect a future blog to regale you with the horrifying details of my first time behind the wheel…hey, it can’t be any worse than me force-feeding you my religiopoliphilosocial thoughts on any given day.

Growing concern

At the hospital we are constantly battling the difficult task of serving the bariatric patient population. This morning as I processed invoices and drew up reqs on new in-ceiling lift systems I just got to thinking about obesity as a problem in the U.S., not just mid-Missouri so I ran a quick news search. Turns out that we aren’t the only country facing this issue.

Here are just a few of the articles that immediately came up on a very simple search. Check out those New Zealanders pulling a MO Medicaid bit. I have sincere sympathy for much of the obese population, but honestly, I think it’s crazy when state-funded insurance pays for gastric bypass but not appropriate care for a quadriplegic. (Trust me when I say you don't want me to get started on a healthcare tangent again so let's move on.)

The Obesity Battle Goes On from the Post

Exercise doesn’t prevent childhood obesity from the UK

Exercise Plan for pre-schoolers aimed to prevent childhood obesity from Sri Lanka

Hundreds to get tax-payer funded stomach stapling from New Zealand

Anyway, this bit and thinking about Huckabee as a real contender for the VP slot on McCain’s ticket prompted me to give those of you non MySpace readers a look at an old blog. Here’s your encore presentation from a March 12, 2008 post:

Do you Heart Huckabee today?
Posted on My Space 3-12-08

If you do Heart Huckabee or if you’re just interested in listening to him he will be delivering the following lecture: "Ethics Surrounding the Future of Medical & Health Care" Thursday, March 13th, 7:30p.m. at Columbia College.

Per the event organizer, Huckabee was asked to present this year’s Schiffman Ethics in Soociety lecture prior to ever announcing a bid for presidential candidancy. Additionally, it is noted that the primary reasons for asking him to speak were "his personal experience with weight loss and his national recognition as a leader on health care, education and energy issues."

I’ve read that the lecture focuses on whether or not it is a moral issue to keep yourself healthy. I could guess what Huckabee is going to say; I could skip step interval and cardio strip tease to actually hear what he has to say (yeah, I know who am I trying to kid with that one?); instead, I’m going to share my once again very scattered and incomplete thoughts (it’s late people.)

Yes, I think we have a moral obligation to insure our individual health, and I warn you I am admittedly gearing up for some pontification. It will be short though I’m sleepy and discombobulated about various things (hence the need for a little blog distraction even if it is just adding to my discombobulation on some level.)

Honestly, I’m not certain that there is any individual factor that more greatly impacts our overall health (physical, emotional, mental and dare I say even spiritual) than the food and other miscellaneous products that we put into our bodies. Not only do poor dietary choices lead to some of the major causes of death: heart disease, high blood pressure and the all-encompassing diabetes that leads to everything else under the sun (trust me I work in a hospital, and I think if diabetes did not exist the building would be half its size), but they mentally and emotionally fatigue us as well. People that like to "comfort eat" are really just doubling the size of their problems both literally and figuratively, as those extra fatty calories are going to result in weight gain, which results in lower quality overall health.

So let’s think about it this way (assuming that all people want to live): People require sustenance to live. Not all sustenance promotes living. People require sustenance that promotes life.
That said, before I really start to preach on nutrition I want to stop just because I should before I drive myself and you crazy and also to make it clear that I am not claiming to be perfect. It’s obvious that I have my unhealthy vices, but I try to make the most nutritionally conscience choices the majority of the time, not just to counteract the times when I allow myself the indulgences, but to actually feel healthy in every way possible. I feel physically ill and emotionally unsound after I consume high fat or processed foods (hydrogenated oil is practically plastic.) Anyway, I digress…

While I believe in helping other people, I am also sincerely committed to individual responsibility. Perhaps if there was a greater emphasis on the individual insuring his or her own health through sound nutrition and lifestyle choices and other preventative care, we would not be in the healthcare crisis that we are today. We owe it to ourselves and each other to be healthy. Our country is a population ridden with healthcare woes, and the system in place to address those woes is a mess thanks to many factors, including our government’s role to help protect the big money corporations that masquerade as insurers of our health, and that is what I believe I will be blogging about tomorrow or the day after (we’ll see what my schedule is like as it’s not every night that I feel like blogging at 1:00a.m.)

So, I’ll be having spinach tomorrow as usual :)

(Sigh²) Here I succumb

A couple of my "friends" completely blow. Letting go of the anger and sadness today though. Dancing it out to a little Ben Kweller and The Strokes and turning my face toward the sunshine. Pensive and wishing I was at home.

Here, I am forced to suppress the desire to violently undress you.

Here, I envision myself impressed by your hands, larger than mine.

Here, I close my eyes and calculate the distance, tip to tip, from index finger to thumb, nearly encircling at the smallest point of my waist.

Here, I am exponentially aware of my thighs tensed as I visually outline the perfect lines and musculature of your abdomen.

Here, I envision my ankles interlocked low, at your sacrum...

Here, I am forced to suppress the desire to violently undress you.

Back to work.

Veeping up the mess

Nah, I'm not talking German on house chores, but I am a little late weighing in on the potential VP candidates for this election. So I started this about two and a half weeks ago and just never got around to finishing it, and I don't think that I ever will (lots of work at home and in the office as well as lots of dance practice hours in addition to regular Studio time.) Additionally, let it be noted that I am full-on admitting to being a news and politics slacker since then as I seriously am just so stinking overwhelmed with all else and so disappointed with the prez candidates that I'm a bit apathetic towards it all. That said, I ask that you take into consideration my thoughts are presumably outdated; I'll try to catch up this weekend.

Obama picks? Clark, Biden, Webb
McCain picks? Huckabee, (dare I say) Romney, Pawlenty

Okay, these peeps are not necessarily who I think the boys will choose to veep it up, but they are folks that I think could offer something to their respective tickets.

Clark is smooth, a retired general, a Rhodes scholar with education in Politics, Philosophy & Economics and respect from many for his military service, thus deflecting a bit of the sure-to-come anti-military nonsense that McCain will be hurling at Obama. Additionally he was a huge supporter of Clinton so there's potential for Obama to win some Clinton fans over with Clark. It doesn't hurt that he's a white man since Obama could use a little help in the white male demo.

Personally, I rather liked Biden when he initially threw his hat into the presidential ring, but just like the other two dems I preferred (Gravel and Kucinich) he didn't have a chance. For Obama though he could fill the foreign policy void. Not only does he have the chairmanship of the Senate for Foreign Relations Committee, but he has often been rather outspoken with regard to achieving political reconciliation in Iraq via decentralizing power among the country's warring factions. When it comes to foreign policy, where dems are concerned, Biden is it; the guy knows his stuff. Again, he should be able to help with the white male demo, specifically those ol' Irish-American roots should facilitate a good rapport with the white working class. I haven't heard a lot of buzz on Biden aside from one of my friends mentioning him. I think perhaps, Obama thinks he is lacking the articulation factor, but it's his ability to interact with the working class that makes him appealing. His special little add-in: he teaches a regular seminar on constitutional law (I know a couple of people up for the big title that could maybe use some help in this area.)

Like Clark, Webb would offer some military cred to the ticket. Obama has said that Washington is the problem so Webb's young service in Congress compliments this stance. Again, he too, would help with white voters, specifically rural voters, and would offer the opportunity for Virginia to actually come into play. Of course, because of the Virginia thing I don't think he's a very likely choice as the dems don't want to risk their chance to have two dem Senate seats in VA.

I also have to just make a quick mention of Brian Schweitzer. Although lacking the physical charm of Clark he too, is smooth, a bit of a cowboy that tells it like it is. He spent several years in Saudi Arabia as well as other countries overseas which gives him some credibility on international affairs. He has quite a bit of experience and respect for his work on energy issues.

I know there are some people out there that just won't let the Hillary thing go, but I just don't think for one second that he would pick her, and if he did, he'd be an idiot (I'm not going to waste my time or your's going into detail here.) I know there are also some people that think he should just pick any woman, and that then he would get all of the Hillary supporters behind him. Several people are talking Sebelius. Some have even mentioned MO's own McCaskill. Neither of these is happening either. If anyone is going to sway the female vote by picking a female running mate, it's McCain, and I don't think he'll do it either.

Let's see though…on Huckabee, I don't particularly <3 Huckabee, but the guy is a good speaker. He would definitely make the evangelical population happy, but he would likely disappoint the conservatives rooted in economic and foreign policy. Just like I think Webb will help Obama in VA I think Huckabee would help McCain there as well as in NC and OH.

Romney, again, although his Mormonism is not popular with conservative evangelicals he is still seen as a representative of Christianity so that will help a bit (at least if trying to sway some dems or fence-riders away that are afeared of Obama's satanic Muslim beliefs [rolls eyes].) He has a record of economic crisis management (hey are we in one of those?) He too, has the ability to do well in OH as well as FL and a ton o' those western states (minus Cali.)

Mr. Pawlenty is perhaps McCain's Quayle (yuck), but the good there is that he's young, with an attractive enough family. With the jokes about McCain's age overflowing, a young hockey-playing veep would offer some balance against the young Barack. He's been a big McCain supporter from the get-go, but with strict conservatives that already worry about McCain, I think a Pawlenty choice has the potential to cause further concern as he is often viewed as a bit left-leaning as far Republicans go. He is majorly anti-abortion though and has a following in the blue-collar crowd.

I've heard some mention of McCain being bold enough to pick his dem buddy Lieberman to attempt to procure some dem votes. I really don't think he'd do this. If he did, I don't think he'd see a real reward on the dem side, and he sure as hell would piss the conservatives off with that one. Will he pick a woman? I doubt it but have heard mention of Sarah Palin. She is a major church-going pro-lifer and member of the NRA, but I just don't see it happening. Lastly, I sorta see Portman's name next to McCain's, although he may not be a "big" enough name. In fact, it's his low-level of name recognition that kept him out of my top three list because honestly I think as far as economics go he has more to offer than Romney. He also has the potential to help out in OH and FL. He has worked at the economic, diplomatic, legislative and executive levels. He's younger without being a green newbie in the politics game.

Regardless of whom either gentleman picks to share their respective campaign sign space, I very much agree with something my friend recently wrote

(Veepstakes) and that is that for once the VP candidates are going to really matter. I don't think that I'm the only person out there that's disappointed in our lackluster presidential candidates, and let's face it a VP is only one breath, one heartbeat away from being the next president. I think that we need to care about these candidates as well. Additionally, it's often the case that a VP runs for presidential office down the road. These people have the potential to represent their parties over the course of two decades. Let's hope the boys find a way to balance selection not just by who will help them get elected but also by who will help them successfully govern.

(Sigh) Sometimes

Sometimes
when you are not here
and when I confuse
the cadence of your steps
with my breathing;
when so softly
your hands climb
on the sunny side
of my shoulders' hills
and I try
to meet them
in the stillness
of your non-presence;
when soaring
with the creeping silence
hangs
the echo of your voice -
then I am more than clear
it does not matter
where you are.

I had such a lovely time on the trail yesterday; it's just gorgeous outside.

Also been ruminating on some Rumi. Here's one of my favorites: "Out beyond the ideas of right thinking or wrong thinking is a field. I'll meet you there."
--Rumi

Dim the lights; enjoy the show

Yesterday I went to COMO's beloved Ragtag with my sweet friend Blythe. For those of you that are not familiar, the Ragtag is a wonderfully intimate movie theater that plays independent films and documentaries with the occasional throw-back to a classic such as Breakfast at Tiffany's added to the calendar.

Ordinarily I hate the movie theater because I am the short person that always has the tallest person sit in front of her. I am the person that has the gem of an individual parked behind me for the sole purpose of kicking the back of my seat. I am the person that picks just the right time to hit the theater in this college town when all of the sorostitutes are out pretending to be interested in the movie but really just want to talk on their cell phones in the theater. Oh, I should also mention that I am the person with the short temper for any of this nonsense so it is ill-advised for anyone else to want to go with me because I will, in fact, loudly tell you it is rude use your cell phone in the theater and to stop it. In an effort to avoid physical confrontation for both myself and whomever might be accompanying me I simply do not go to the movies. That is of course, unless you're talking about the Ragtag.

It may seem elitist, but I do not care; the Ragtag clientèle is different; it's an eclectic mix of young professionals, contemporary hippies, professors, bright young high schoolers and so on with the commonality being that they all want to see and hear the show. There are no fancy theater seats, rather the room is filled with old 70sish looking furniture, a hodgepodge of doctors' office waiting room chairs and old couches in lovely hues of avocado and burnt orange. The popcorn isn't buttery, but it is freshly popped. The Uprise Bakery is located inside with a full menu of delicious soups, sandwiches and other baked treats. There's a bar, stocked with a decent wine list and several of the beer-lovers essentials rotating on tap, such as New Castle and Guinness. The halls and entryway are resplendent with original and rotating artwork from local artists. Occasionally the Ragtag brings in an actor, writer or director for the film it's showcasing to host a lively Q. and A. The projectionists always introduce the film with fun tidbits about other upcoming showcases. There is a brief intermission for bathroom break or another cocktail, coffee or treat. It is an atmosphere that you can not help but enjoy, and for me it is additionally desirable to visit because it is supporting small, local business. Needless to say, I subscribe to their calendar of events and try to catch shows there when my personal calendar allows. If nothing else it serves as a guide for films to be on the lookout for.

Every once in a while there is a film that I simply can not wait to see. When the June calendar came out I knew The Visitor was one of those films. I am happy to report that it did not disappoint. I will not offer you a typical movie review here, as I hate the way reviewers often spoil a film. Instead I simply implore you to give this movie a viewing. The movie's title is intentionally ambiguous: Who, exactly, is the visitor? Who belongs here and who doesn't?

The Visitor is about the miraculousness of finding a sense of place, even when a person feels doomed to dislocation. The writing and directing are superb, and the acting is phenomenal. Richard Jenkins (dad from Six Feet Under) seems to effortlessly act the lead. His ennui laden character spoke to my heart. The remainder of the cast is also exceptional and definitely beautiful to boot (see Haaz Sleiman and Danai Jekesai Gurira).

I found myself both laughing and crying as this is a piece that is both wistful and comedic. To be certain, although it is very much a film about people and their relationships, it is also a film primarily placed in post 9/11 NY and is laced with political commentary on immigration, xenophobia and American ideals of liberty and justice for “all.”

Additionally, I couldn't ask for a better soundtrack to accent the work. The Visitor is filled with light and often melancholy piano notes as well as rousing Afro-centric drum beats and briefly features the sounds of Fela Kuti.

The Visitor is so fresh in my heart and mind that I could give you quite a detailed and accurate recap, but truly, I want you to watch it yourselves. If anything, because I've been such a lazy blogger lately I might give you my two cents on immigration/deportation sometime soon. I simply haven't had the time to write lately, but given the new MO immigration reform hitting close to home for me I just might make the time to churn something out.

In the interim at least enjoy the movie trailer.

Ricky Bobby Kerry Billie Jo Elvis????

And I thought our government was far too involved in our lives! Check out this article about a recent lawsuit in Sweden:

Elvis no name for a girl
Published: 4 Jun 08 09:05 CETOnline: http://www.thelocal.se/12214/

Swedish tax authorities have informed a couple in Stockholm that they may not keep the name Elvis for their five-month old daughter.

Forbidden names: identity and the law (26 Nov 07)
Couple 'will divorce' if son can't take mother's name (16 Oct 07)
Baby Metallica allowed to keep her name (19 Apr 07)

The girl's parents have appealed the decision, Metro reports.

"We talked about lots of names and then Elvis popped up. We thought it was a name that was both pretty and gender-neutral. We're not Elvis Presley fans at all," the infant's mother, Linda, told the newspaper.

The most important factor for the couple, who do not own any of The King's records, was for the name to be "gender-neutral".

But not everyone agreed with their assessment that Elvis fit the bill. In its ruling, the tax board wrote:"It is the National Tax Board's view that Elvis is a first name of a masculine type and as such may, in light of standard practice, be considered clearly inappropriate as a first name for a woman."

The girl's mother however believes that her appeal will be successful and has vowed to continue calling her daughter Elvis whatever the eventual outcome. The family can also take heart from the experience last year of the Tomaro family, whose daughter was eventually allowed to keep the name Metallica after a protracted battle with the authorities.

Blech! While I think Elvis is an awful name for a little girl, I certainly don't think it's government business to decide whether or not parents can use it for their baby.

Leave it to socialist Sweden to actually use tax dollars on an appellative committee.

Thinking on socialism quite a bit lately, and now with this article I think it's my official cue to read Hayek's Road to Serfdom in its entirety vs. just the small excerpts I had in class circa '99.

Ah, Dr. Hayek, 'tis true what you say, socialism is contrary to freedom.