Friday, I maintained pretty well and only had a short bout around 12:30p or so and again at 10:30p. Dave, you suck for not being there for me when I needed you, but I suppose you can't always be so I need to learn how to deal. Seth, you rock for keeping me distracted. Blythe and Nicole, you chickees both brought me smiles thanks to you too.
Saturday didn't start out so well, but I composed myself and faced the world and even felt rather jubilant for part of the day. Then the sadness came back, and I tried desperately to fight it; I even managed to bite back tears sitting just inches from someone else without him noticing: yep, I can be that good at swallowing the sad when I try hard. Then as I waited for Todd to get off of work and sat alone in the house the waves took over me again, but this time I let them win. Thank goodness I had multiple phone calls from my Elizabeth to cheer me up. Of course, then I log in to check two days worth of missed My Space, and I see my Elizabeth's blog which brought me to tears as well.
Relief came when Todd got home, and we ventured into the rain for the Death Cab for Cutie concert. The concert was awesome, but admittedly made me tear up a little. I can barely listen to "I Will Follow You Into the Dark" on my iPod without tearing up so I'm pretty pleased with myself for holding it together as I listened to it live. I had a blast at the concert: thanks Todd, Elizabeth and posse, Nicole, Brandon, boys from Chamber Booze cruise, boys that love Ron Paul and boys that work at Smokin' Chicks. The Smokin' Chicks boys were exceptionally awesome to me. Anyway, the concert was AWESOME!!!! I had so much fun with my peeps.
After a great night why did I end up in tears again today? Well, my poor, sweet pregnant Blythe called me crying which then made me cry a bit for her and reopened emotional floodgates for me. Together she and I were a mess. It doesn't help that today (and for most of the last several days) I feel fat and unattractive.
Okay, sorry, I just needed to vent a bit. If you haven't noticed though, I'm steadily coming back around to happy Karen. Anyway to cheer myself up and to hopefully feel pretty again I am going to buy myself a cute hat from Urban Outfitters and a bossy corset and thigh highs from lalalingerie.com. Yeah for comfort shopping!
I am torn as to which hat to get and also whether I should get a corset and thigh highs or just the thigh highs that look like a corset up the back. What I do know is that I need a pick me up so I am getting something.
4 comments:
Hey short stuff, just now having time to check out your new blog home. It's pretty good stuff as usual. Your weekend tear report makes me want to hug you. Your potential purchases make me want to...well you know...if Todd ever leaves or something ;) Kidding. Wait, no I'm not. Anyway I pick the second hat but in the first color (if that's an option) and the last thigh highs (just the thigh highs - don't bother with the corset). Smile cuz you're beautiful and couldn't be "unattractive" if you tried. Drop it like it's hot....;)
M
I love you so much!!!!!!!!!! I don't know what's been going on with you, but don't be sad anymore. It makes me sad. Oh, and thanks for making me spend more money because now I have to get one of those hats too (of course it won't be nearly as cute on me as it will be on your petite self, but I don't care. Do you remember in like 5th grade when we had those awful Debbie Gibson type hats? LOL We need a visit. Come to the Lou so I can hug you so tight it hurts.
xoxo
Steph
M, you are a mess and completely full of it, and even if you weren't and I was actually single, you know you're not my type. Thanks for the compliments and the shopping advice; it's nice to know someone still thinks I'm cute. I do need a good night of dropping it like it's hot to really cheer myself up - nerd :-)
Steph, aside from family, I've known you longer than anyone else in my life, and I thank you for still popping in from time to time. I'll be in StL this Friday for a show. I'll call you. Thanks for the love. Your comment came through just as I was allowing the cry-cries to overtake me in my office. Debbie Gibson hats...sadly I do remember. Ugh, they were truly awful. <3 back at ya' sister.
i've had it! someone needs to slap the sad out of you. this is months now that you've not been you. where's little miss bossy? where's little miss i'll jump front kick you in the face if you even try to cop an attitude? i want her back, and i want her back yesterday. the rest of us need you to be her so we can be better ourselves, okay? i know that's selfish, but i don't care. oh, and get a blue hat to go with your eyes and then let me borrow it. and also, if you're fat then i'm a hippo so stop.
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